1 Whether you are a parent or are planning to be one by the grace of God or simply just acquainted with those who have children (and who isn’t?) the following truths can make a world of difference in understanding how to effectively raise godly children.There are the explicit commands of the Lord on this topic and then we make some suggestions which would be, in our estimation, good and beneficial practice.

So what’s a godly parent like and how are they supposed to raise their children?
Let’s explore the spiritual answer with all of its practical implications. Here’s then is the right advice, straight from the Word of God:“
… bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”- Ephesians 6:4
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6
In Genesis 18:19, God testifies wonderfully about Abraham, “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.”

We see here that, God wants to be able to trust us when He entrusts the precious gift of children into our care. They are loaned to us for a certain season and then we are to give them back to God having done our duty in, bringing “them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

2 This then is the instruction, the command of God to parents. The parents are to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Nurture, by the way, in the Greek is the word paideia , pronounced, “pahee-di’-ah.” The idea is to train or instruct and chasten. Teaching the children is very important. But there must be discipline in that instruction.
Admonition in the Greek is the word, "nouthesia." That word is pronounced, “noo-thes-ee’-ah”, which means, "call attention to" and also by implication,  "mild rebuke" or warning. 
From the very beginning we must pray for the child’s salvation. This is the most important thing we can do for the child.
In faith, we should place our hands on the child’s head and pray for them especially after they fall asleep every night. We must teach them to Love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, soul and strength.

3 Let’s look at how the Perfect Heavenly Father relates to His Own children.
We may then imitate Him in parenthood.

Two things clearly involved in His method of perfecting us are:
1. Fear
2. Love

Godly fear is one that causes the child of God a great enough fear that he/she is afraid to disobey the Lord. The realization is there that we are in relationship with an awesome Father and God.  

First, we must understand that fear need not always have a negative connotation attached to it only.

It is important to note that the treacherous teachings of modern psychology which has crept into the Church, propagate a foolish and hurtful doctrine that a child must respect the parent to a certain extent but that this does not involve fearing the parent. The parent ought to be just like a best friend to the child only.

While it is only right that the parent be a friend to the child, one to whom the child can share anything and everything in a respectful way, the notion that he/she need not have a fear of the parent and of the consequences following any foolishness or disobedience on their part is what is most foolish and self-contradicting.

The simple truth is that true respect for parental authority always involves (in addition to a love relationship and respect out of love) a healthy fear that punishment from a displeased parent can result if evil is committed by the offspring. We so desperately need to understand this thoroughly and command such a kind of respect from the child. Otherwise, one will find that the God-given authority delegated to the father and mother is shared by the child himself! This is one of the major causes for lack of parental control of the children at home these days. 

God’s kind of love of course was displayed in its full glory on the cross of Christ, where He, Jesus the Son of God, sacrificed His Life for ungodly sinners like us purely out of Love.  

Parents must love with a completely sacrificial attitude for the precious children God has given them. This is true love. 2 Corinthians 12:14 says, “Behold, the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be burdensome to you: for I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.  

We are to do what the Lord instructs in the Bible. We are to talk with them about God and His commandments in our lying down with them and while walking with them etc. All this is to be done in a patient and loving way; not in a harsh, inconsiderate way provoking our children to anger. 

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.  

Don’t insist on children choosing the career of your dreams; let their God-given talents for their God-given mission on earth be prayerfully and patiently discovered and nurtured. Never force them nor provoke them with harsh words.  

Again, love does not mean we water down the Word of God to make it more palatable for a rebellious nature. Godly sobriety or seriousness in passing on the Word of God to children does not mean being harsh, either. There is that wonderful scriptural balance.  

4 Having a good, healthy relationship with children means that the parents are willing not only to take the time to teach their children morality and “street smarts” (or how to survive in the “real world”) but (and infinitely more important), the Word of God; spiritual survival for now and Eternity. 

That Word which liveth and abideth forever and which alone is necessary for godliness that profits both in this life and the next. The only protection the children really need is in Jesus Christ, the Lord God Almighty. 

This of course means much more than a just ritual of, “reading and praying” with one’s offspring. “Family devotions” are an imperative.  

However, what makes the, “talk” effectual in the child’s life is the corresponding, “walk” of the parent in step with every commandment of God. The fear of God is to hate evil. This godly hatred for evil will never be instilled into the minds and hearts of our young ones if the “preaching” father and mother don’t model that in practice for them. It is no secret that children watch practically every move the parents make and take that as their model for everything from how to relate to God, to family, to others, in business practices, habits, other areas etc.

Children, it has been said are gifts from God which are loaned to us for a season. Every single father and mother is commanded by God to raise up an army of godly warriors for the kingdom of God. This is the primary and ultimate task of the parents.  

5 If you are a parent or hope to be one, you will fall into one of these four categories:

1. Strict Disciplinarian; unapproachable, no real tenderness toward the child - “laying down the law” with no grace at all 
2. Unduly, soft ; one that tries to reason with the child mostly and avoids Biblical discipline, hardly (if at all) exerting the God given authority over the child - “No real fixed standards and no punishment for breaking the law”; a type of, “cheap grace”< 
3. Selfishly indifferent ; one that lets the child go on unsupervised, doing whatever they desire and never really cares about the consequences 
4. Godly Parent - Love which includes: Instruction and Discipline biblically balanced in child rearing
   

It goes without saying that we all should get out of the first three categories if we are in them and start anew by joining the Godly Parent category.

6 From the earliest stages it is quite correct and beneficial to practice the following:

Model godliness as a Father and Husband; a servant of God . Family prayer is an imperative. As soon as the baby can talk, have the child participate in family prayer as well as encourage the toddler to have personal prayer. Memorize scriptures with them. When they begin to read, let them also read in family prayer. Let unfeigned love between father and mother be modeled for the child.  

Model godliness as a Mother and Wife; the handmaiden of the Lord. Train the children to pray for everything; to bring their smallest and biggest requests to God (as well as all those, “in between”).  

Don’t destroy your child by hypocrisy. Also never lie to one another or teach children to take sides with one parent in order to lie to another family member. Don’t do it even for, “fun.” This sort of fun will land everyone involved in the Lake of Fire. (See Revelation 21:8, Matthew 5:37, Colossians 3:9) Especially, do not lie to the children; making empty promises and never keeping your word to them. “Practice”, practicing what you preach and teach the children to do the same. If you are guilty then repent at once and start anew according to the wonderful, Divine Plan!  

Do not practice yelling when issuing commands to the child; this will turn into a joke for the child after a while and also will cause the development of “deaf ears” in the child. The tone, tune and loudness will be the only things registered in the child’s hearing and not the words that you are trying to communicate.
Never allow your offspring to give you a, defiant “look” when answering you.
Never allow the child to stubbornly keep quiet and not answer you when you call him/her or ask a question.
Rebellious behavior, no matter how seemingly small you think it may be, will put you to shame later if left unchecked now. 
Children over 3 years of age can have some understanding of punishment.  SO DON'T HIT A CHILD WHO IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND. 

ALSO, Caution! Never hit or scold a child who is mentally slow or handicapped!  The child cannot comprehend at all what he is doing or why he is being scolded or hit.  Woe to those who willfully do this or mentally or physically tax children who have these conditions. 
There are illnesses such as Autism, Pdd etc. , the symptoms of which are not readily apparent to the majority of parents until some time passes.  These children especially should not suffer at the hands of ignorant parents. 

Now for children who are healthy, spare not the rod so that rebellion will be destroyed from the earliest stages.
A note to abusive fathers and mothers: Parents should never seek to do any damage to the child (or God will do damage to the parents!).
Also, parents should not beat the child out of wrathful anger.
Finally, do not handle the rod foolishly and hit the child randomly on all parts of the body nor beat the child to the point of breaking the child’s tender spirit.  
Proverbs 13:24 - He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. 
Proverbs 22:15 - Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. 
Proverbs 23:13 - Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Proverbs 23:14 - Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. 
Proverbs 29:15 - The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. 

Remember loving instruction is the main form of discipline and then the rod of correction as the case may warrant it. 
Be involved in the child’s life and development in all areas: spiritual, intellectual, emotional, social and physical areas. Pray with them, read with them, play with them in wholesome sports activities, sing with them in worship to God etc.  Training involves measuring progress and lovingly helping them along in the appropriate godly goals (as well as in scholastic, physical, nutritional etc.)

An important note here: though we must never force them to, “go forward” to make a decision for Christ or be baptized etc. we must not give them a choice as to whether they should hear the Word or not, whether they should read or not, pray or not, go to church or not etc. One of the greatest twists and foolish rationalizations of worldly parents is that the children must be allowed to make their own decision out of respect for their individuality. This, “handing over” of parental authority is how parents sometimes make their children idle and open to ungodly interests with no Word of God to warn them and act as deterrent to future evil inclinations. Never allow children to disrespect you as a parent with words such as, “I want this now!” “Leave me alone!” “Don’t bother me!” “Why should I do what you say?” etc. Teach them loving and kind words. This is most effective when begun at the earliest stages of a child’s life; however one can start at any age with the help of the Holy Spirit, with much prayer.   Practice and teach godly contentment in whatever is provided and teach against comparing with what the neighbors have or their children have. They should be trained to realize that God will only give the best for us and in His perfect time when we do His Will.  Not just quantity but quality; Not just quality but quantity.   Do constructive things together. No matter how busy we are; we must “make” time for our children. They are living souls and they are given to us to nurture in Christ and they are most valuable. They should be able to confide in the parents and not go to outside sources in order to get a “listening ear”. We should listen to them express themselves and their ideas and desires so long as they are wholesome. We should never tell the child to “Get out of here!” or “You know, you’re just good for nothing!" or “You don’t know anything!” or “You are a dull-head!” or “Shut your mouth!” etc., when they are longing to get a caring audience in us. This is especially true for teenagers. We need to be more than just authoritarian-like in this critical stage of their development and patiently listen and explain.  Expose your children to great Christian biographies while making sure they are reading and memorizing the Word. Teach them however to always keep the Lord Jesus Christ as their ultimate role model. He is our perfect example!  If your job or ministry or friends or relatives or hobbies take the needed time away from your children, chances are that the particular culprit (although they maybe legitimate in and of themselves) is taking too much time away from the primary ministry to your own children. This is one of the reasons why a lot of ministers’ children rebel and get exposed to unhealthy friends and interests.
Children should never be left alone (unsupervised) in the house (especially with the TV or with their friends or relatives of whom we cannot say that they are godly.)  Never underestimate the schemes of the devil, who will be looking for even the smallest opportunity to corrupt your child if you allow him to. Better safe than sorry.
Single Parents If you are a single parent don’t be discouraged. The same instruction applies to you as well. Now you can never replace the other spouse but you can with God’s help raise godly children. Isaiah 54:5(a) says, “For thy Maker is thine husband;” However, first things first: did you become single as a result of a sin or sins on your part? If you are divorced and it is because you were unfaithful then you are in sin. Deal with the sins and be clear before God. Repent and be reconciled to your spouse or if they are already married then be content in the single state in which you are right now.  Then you can concentrate on raising godly children with God's approval and help.  Psalms 68:5 says, “ A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation.”  If you are a widow and if you are not divorced due to your own sin and stubbornness (or if you have sincerely repented of your sin) then you also, of course may still raise godly children. Don’t despair. The Lord is there to help you in everything. He will give all the needed grace that you need to accomplish this all-important task. Remember that He cares for the fatherless and the widow.  Too many women (and men sometimes) look for male role models (or female role models respectively) for their children in order to, “complete” the family. The problem is if we are not sure that the role models are godly and that they don’t have ulterior motives, then we are inviting the Devil into our life and into the life of or child so that he can make a bigger mess.  Now there is a lie of the Devil that those children who don’t have a male/female role model, become homosexuals. Don’t believe it! As long as we do our part as parents in the Lord, no such thing will happen. For it is written, “ Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” - Proverbs 22:6  Single parents should keep their eyes on Christ more than ever, so that like Anna the Prophetess (Luke 2:36) and Paul the Apostle (1 Corinthians 7:7), they may be gloriously used of God and have the ultimate satisfaction in life.  Finally, do keep in mind:Children observe and imitate how we speak and to whom we speak often, what we watch, what we hear and see, where we go, what we laugh at, how our resources of time and money and talent are divided and utilized in our life by us.   They record everything and playback for training purposes!  Are we teaching them obedience?  “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” - Ephesians 6:1  “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” - Colossians 3:20   Are we teaching them to respect others; especially parents and elders?   - “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”   Philippians 2:3 - “ Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”   1 Peter 5:5 - “Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”   Are we encouraging them to give to God, tithes and offerings with a cheerful heart without the covetousness of the world? To help others and shun selfishness? (2 Corinthians 9:7)   Are we encouraging the child to be a living witness for the Lord Jesus Christ? To be morally strong? Separation from ungodly children, ungodly interests like secular movies and TV and sex, drugs, worldly music etc? (1 Corinthians 15:33)   Putting off such important teaching for one's children is the choice of worldly, rebellious parents who fall for the humanistic and satanic reasoning that the children are, “just too young to make moral choices right now” and that thus we must water down the Word of God and godly living standards so as to cater to their immature appetite. Such a philosophy is wrong. Children are always ready for an uncompromising, honest stand for God (unlike many of their worldly parents).   Our children are recording in their minds and hearts whether we are truly doing things for the Glory of God or not. Let’s do nothing that will hinder them from becoming sons and daughters of God in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation.   Let’s thank God for children who are also there as an added motivation for the parents to be more godly in all areas of their own lives!  

7 Remember:“Discipline but no love is no true discipline”  “Love without discipline is no true love”  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6   The parent needs to: Be diligent to study and obey the plain instruction God gives and  Pray sincerely, with faith that the Holy Spirit will help them and depend upon Him for His guidance and for good success. One without the other is not complete; we need to do both as outlined above. Then and only then will your desire to be a truly, successful godly parent be realized and you will be able to say with Righteous Joshua